


Preparing to Fight

by GinnyK



Category: The West Wing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2002-03-12
Updated: 2002-03-12
Packaged: 2019-05-31 04:34:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15111908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GinnyK/pseuds/GinnyK
Summary: Post-Episode toTwo Cathedrals





	Preparing to Fight

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

 

**Preparing to Fight**

**by:** Ginny 

**Category:** Post-ep to _Two Cathedrals_   
**Character:** Jed Bartlet  
**Rating:** YTEEN 

In my mind's eye I see her walk out the door and back to her desk. 

Just as it should be.

But things aren't as they should be and they will never be again.

The wind and rain hit me full force as I step out to the portico.

Her words echo in my mind as the rain soaks me instantly and the wind catches my tie, carrying it over my shoulder like a noose.

I hear Charlie's voice through the rush of wind. He's trying his best to keep me together, when I know, on the inside he's falling apart, like the rest of us.

The water running down the back of my shirt tells me it is a little late for my raincoat so I brush past him and back inside. I notice he stops to take off his own coat. 

In solidarity, or something like that.

I feel myself being propelled through the halls as if I were in a wind tunnel. More and more people join the group, as if some force is sucking them in.

And then it hits me.

This is all too familiar.

Was it just 3 short months ago I was being propelled through these halls in the same manner? Gathering troops behind me as we headed for the Capitol and The State of the Union. So I could give what was supposed to be the speech of my political career.

An hour ago I gave the biggest interview of my life and now I'm heading off for the biggest press conference.

This day kind of makes the State of the Union pale in comparison.

I'm once again hit with the wind and the rain as we step outside to get in the limo. 

I asked the agents to pass by National Cathedral on the way to the press conference. I know, it's not on the way at all. But I had to pass by one final time.

I head to the other side of the limo in order for me to have a clear view as we drive by.

The silence in the limo is deafening. Leo keeps looking at me out of the corner of his eye. Charlie won't look at me, he's fidgeting with his hands in his lap. And for that I'm glad. I swear I would burst in to tears if he looked at me with those sad eyes.

As we pass National Cathedral I glance up and think about my angry tirade. I feel no sorrow or remorse for what I said. If people had heard me they might have thought I had given up on God. But if I had, I wouldn't have ranted and raved, I would have remained silent.

The car comes to a stop on the rain-slicked driveway. As I am completely soaked the agents don't even bother with an umbrella. The lightning crashes as I stand for just a second, looking towards heaven as I make my final decision.

We walk into the building as we walked into the Capitol. As an army of men....of brothers. We are all still dressed in the dark suits of our mourning. Only one of us armed with the knowledge of what is about to happen. 

I feel a towel pressed into my hands. Without breaking my stride I drag it over my face and hand it to Charlie.

CJ has things timed so I don't have to wait to be introduced...

"And now the President of the United States"

Quick glance down at my shoelaces, all tied.

The room is instantly quiet as I walk to the podium. It seems as if time is standing still.

I see Lawrence Altman, front row, last seat on the right, my right.

He looks very eager.

And I call on Sandy.

I can almost hear the sinking hearts of my staff. I want so badly to turn and look at them all but I know if I did I would completely and utterly break down.

Staring out in to the crowd I can see Donna and Margaret near the back. They, like most others here, are holding their breath.

I ask Sandy to repeat the question to give myself a few more seconds.

My hands are gripping the podium in a feeble attempt to stop them from shaking, shaking from the chilly rain, shaking from the sheer emotion of the moment.

Sliding them down the wooden surface I drop them to my sides.

Taking a deep breath I put them in my pockets, just as I did when I faced Mrs. Landingham over 40 years ago.

Glancing off to the side I can see them all. CJ, Josh and Sam are standing together, not moving. Charlie has his eyes fixed on me. Leo and Toby are looking at the monitor. For a split second I catch Leo's eye. I see him say something to Toby.

I let go of the breath I didn't realize I had been holding.

As I exhale the corners of my mouth turn up slightly.

Forty years ago I didn't fight and I let her down. I can't do it again. I want her to be proud of me. I can't give up because the fight is too hard.

THE END 


End file.
